How to Negotiate Forever Disputes
- Larry Ray
- Aug 5, 2025
- 6 min read
First step, what is a forever dispute?
Defining Endless War: More Than a Political Talking Point
What is an endless war and how has the United States gotten into so many of them? The first step to understanding how the United States has found itself mired in endless war, and thus how it might escape them, is to define what endless war is.
Wars take on an endless character when two conditions are met: First, when a belligerent adopts objectives while lacking the capability to achieve said objectives. Second, when, despite the inability to achieve its objectives, the belligerent is also not at risk of being defeated itself. Where these two conditions hold over a prolonged period of time with no clear possibility of change in sight, endless war emerges.
According to AI: Wars that seem to go on indefinitely are often referred to as perpetual wars, endless wars, or forever wars.
These terms describe conflicts that lack a clear set of conditions that would lead to their conclusion. They can be characterized by ongoing tension, sporadic fighting, or prolonged periods of low-intensity conflict. Examples include the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and the Myanmar conflict, which have both been ongoing for over 75 years.
The concept of "endless war" has also been used to critique military interventions that extend indefinitely without achieving their stated objectives. The "War on Terror" is often cited as an example, described as a perpetual war with no specific battlefield and enemies that are difficult to define and target.
Some analysts argue that a war becomes endless when a belligerent pursues objectives that are unattainable, while also not being at risk of being defeated itself.
Negotiated Deal Between Congo and Rwanda, Forever Conflict
This dispute has been ongoing for more than 30 years with up to 6M dead. They are fighting over land, minerals, violence, and gangs. Parties agree that a deal has been signed BUT the implementation is the key.
Congo has vast mineral resources matched by government dysfunction, corruption ,and brutality of numerous rebel groups.
Rwanda is tiny with a rigidly controlled free market favored by investors and philanthropists but where press, opposition, and critics are frequently imprisoned or killed.
The deal involves halting aggression, ceasing support for violent groups, and vowing to deepen economic integration including mining and processing other mineral resources.
Negotiation is tricky because of the challenge of finding alignment between the two warring countries.
Richard Haas, a veteran international negotiation expert, asserts that the deal needs more than persuasion. It needs ramifications and possibly, penalties. There must be the realization that some wounds will disappear but not heal completely. This deal is only as strong as the will to implement. The work begins now.
According to Michael Birnbaum in the Washington Post:
“Successful diplomacy requires a deep understanding of what all sides want and need. The actual deal may be secondary to the parties’ sense of right and wrong of their national interests."
EXAMPLE: IRAN AND ISRAEL WAR (Star Trek Forever War Between Worlds lessons)
It seems impossible to teach a conflict management/negotiation course without paying attention to the ongoing dispute (aka war) between Iran and Israel.
These 2 countries have been fighting for so long, so hard that they don’t know what the FUDGE they are doing. - President Trump, 6/24/25.
This, instantly reminded me of the Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 2, Episode 5: As Loud as a Whisper. This is an ideal episode with many conflict management lessons. The star is Riva (from a Royal family) who is a renowned universe negotiator/mediator/peacemaker. (Riva is played by Actor Howie Seago, age 73 now, well known actor in the Deaf Community.) He is called on to solve a dispute between 2 tribes of the Planet Solari who are going to destroy themselves and the world. He says the exact same words as Trump: These two worlds have been fighting for so long that they have lost their way.
Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise and others are surprised when arrogant, confident Riva arrives and they discover he cannot hear or speak AND he has three assistants, aka his chorus.
Picard: There are aspects to Riva of which we have not been informed.
Riva/Chorus: Precisely. Our way of communicating has developed over the centuries and it's one that I find quite harmonious.
Picard: Then Riva the mediator...
Riva/Chorus: Is deaf.
Picard: Deaf?
Riva/Chorus: Born, and hope to die.
We’re told that each of the three members of the chorus speaks to one side of Riva’s emotional spectrum. “We serve as translators,” one explains. “We convey not only his thoughts, but his emotional intent as well. I am the Scholar. I represent the intellect, and speak in matters of judgement, philosophy, logic. Also, I am the dreamer, the part that longs to see the beauty beyond the truth which is always the first duty of art.”
Another observes, “I am passion, the libido. I am the anarchy of lust, the romantic and the lover. I am also the warrior, the perfect line which never wavers.”
Finally, the third states, “I am that which binds all the others together. I am harmony, wisdom, balance.”
The first mediation session was explosive. During the shooting, Riva’s Chorus were destroyed.
Riva did not give up and enlisted Enterprise’s Troi (Marina Sirtis) to be his chorus. She queried him how could she possibly be his chorus? How can the mediator possibly bring peace to those who have been warring for a long time. Riva’s advice:
Turn a disadvantage into an advantage.
If two factions are entrenched in battle, if two sides are in a pattern of fear and hatred, find a common denominator.
Often, an entrenched dispute has long since become personal, regardless of the tangible concerns that may have started it.
When angry parties are desperate, the stage is set for opportunities to problem solve.
There is no magic, no trick. One simply needs to REALLY listen, really understand. What are the underlying issues?
If they are entrenched, effectuate a change.
Sometimes, the mere presence of a third party can be that change.
Watch your words. They carry a meaning.
When two parties are diametrically opposed, identify the different perceptions and distinguish those from facts.
In the last scene, Riva follows his own advice. He calls the parties together again and decides together they will create a Common Language.
Summary from Wikipedia:
Riva returns to the meeting spot on the planet and to the crew's surprise, tells them that they should leave and that he will signal Starfleet when the negotiations are complete, as they may take several months. For the tribes to work with Riva, they will have to learn sign language from Riva, which will create a shared experience between them. Thus, Riva is turning his disadvantage of being unable to communicate into an advantage. The crew leaves Riva to await the tribe representatives. (WikipideA)
This will involve PATIENCE.
Summary
It is often said that at any time, there are more than 90 wars going on in this world. Many of those may be called Forever Wars. People should not give up on them. Instead as the above two examples illustrate, a negotiator, a mediator must have patience, must find common ground, and must help the intractable parties to reframe and resolve.
PS: ABC TV Series, Scandal, Season 7 (2018)
An interesting storyline with this season was the US President Mellie Grant negotiating a nuclear peace treaty between two imaginary Middle East countries of Dakal (President Nazari) and Bashran (President Rashad). Wars between these peoples had been going on for decades, at least 6 wars. Six different US Presidents tried to negotiate cease fires and treaties. Grant was inspirational in her entreaties to these countries about the greater good for these countries and the world. As “carrots” she offered US recognition and cooperation.
It is challenging for a US President to mediate, facilitate, or negotiate an agreement when that person has “a special relationship with one party as does Grant with Rashad or present US President Trump with Israel.
Shockingly, on the Air Force tarmac, Rashad’s plan was blown up orchestrated by rogue US officials. Grant has to set emotions aside and felt even more compelled to effectuate the treaty.
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