How Does an Effective Negotiator Manage a Pedantic (A Corrector)
- Larry Ray
- Jul 2
- 5 min read
Introduction
First, what is a Pedantic? Once, this is described, all will recognize the concept and note people in their lives who fall into this category.
Pedantic (adjective) is an insulting word used to describe someone who annoys others by correcting small errors, caring too much about minor details, or emphasizing their own expertise especially in some narrow or boring subject matter. (AI)
What Causes a Pedantic?
It usually emanates from the need to control. It is a power issue. These folks usually want more control and power. They have a lack of confidence and tend to overcompensate by “showcasing” what they think is their knowledge.
Personality: This communication behavior could be connected to the personality. Personality is most likely a combination of what temperament people were born with and life experiences. A fun and quick personality quiz is D.O.P.E. In this instrument, one responds to a series of questions and then is placed within 4 personality types designated by bird names: Dove, Owl, Peacock, and Eagle. The Pedantic might classified as an Owl personality. In this personality type, one is a perfectionist, bullheaded, unbending, critical and fault-finding.
Work Style-DISC: There is another, relevant instrument that classifies work style. It is called the DISC and is familiar to many. DISC includes the work styles of Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. The Pedantic would most likely fall into the Dominance Style:
The "D" style can sometimes come off as too aggressive, intimidating other DISC personality types. This can happen if "D" types do not feel as though they are in control or perceive they have been taken advantage of. "Ds" have a high sense of ego and should be complimented on their positive personality characteristics and leadership skills.
Low Emotional Intelligence (EI)/Emotional Quotient (EQ). The “Correctors” tend to rate low on emotional intelligence; that is, realizing what impact their comments may have on others.
For example, Correctors are the type who will send a lengthy email of corrections on Friday afternoon. Because of their low EQ, they do not realize they have made three mistakes:
Most receivers, do not read long emails.
Friday is the least productive day of the week.
Friday afternoon is the least productive time period of the week.
Focus on tasks, not people: The “Correctors” seem to focus more on tasks than people, which is also evidenced in the DISC and DOPE instruments.
Illusory Superiority and Know-It-All: This communication tic is closely associated with the concepts of Illusory Superiority and Know-It-All.
Illusory Superiority is the Lake Wobegon effect, where people think they are better at a skill than they are. According to the research, this delusion usually revolves around what some call “soft skills,” such leadership, negotiation, and communication.
(See Blog Entries: Illusory Superiority, 1/26/21, and Ultracrepidarianism aka Know-It-All, published 9/10/24).
Correcting and Bullying: Some, will note the link between correcting and bullying. Many folks tell stories of being bullied or corrected based on their accent or grammar. According to Quora, most people’s communication initially reflects their early life experience, family ,and communities. They don’t really need correcting.
What is Bullying? According to bullying is “being mean”: the intentional, repeated use of in-group status or power to harm or humiliate others. Sometimes bullying comes with prejudice, but often it’s a more instinctive behavior. There may be no thought or ideology at all behind it. It can be a plan or just an animal instinct to dominate, to coerce.
How Does a Pedantic Behave?
A Corrector often conflates their preferred way, their opinion, with the Right Way to do or say things. They may even escalate their cay to the company way, using the “We.”
Here’s the way we do things.
Here’s the way this company….
Why Does a Pedantic Irritate Others
The communication receiver should take some time to self-reflect. What’s the rub? Of course, most people do not like criticism and correcting is akin to criticism.
More importantly, when a Pedantic interrupts with a correction, often the point or the goal of the statement is lost.
Example
A and B are negotiating a situation that takes place in New Orleans. A refers to tourists attraction to the trolleys. B, immediately interrupts, and declares that in New Orleans, these are called streetcars.
First, this communication tic is rude and interrupting.
Second, according to AI: In North America, "streetcar" and "trolley" are often used interchangeably to describe a public transportation vehicle that runs on rails in city streets.
How Does One Manage a Pedantic?
If the correcting is occurring on a personal basis, ignoring it might be the easiest. Often, if one is likable, they get by with this tic. Several folks have described a situation with an avuncular family member from which they don’t mind the interruptions as they are learning from the person who has had much life experience.
An effective negotiator accomplishes much planning as Stage #1 of the negotiation process. A component of this planning is to research the communication and negotiation styles of the other negotiators. If they discover that a negotiator is a Pedantic, there are steps that can be taken.
Ignoring: It might be possible in some circumstances to simply ignore the communication tic. At the same time, if this interruption is impeding the thrust of the argument of the interest being submitted, other steps may be taken.
Ground rules and Guidelines: The second negotiation stage after Planning is the Introduction. As part of the introduction, ground rules and guidelines can be set. One, might be, no interruptions or that only one person speaks at a time.
Research and experience shows that guidelines are adhered to if there in involvement on the part of all the negotiators to create them.
After they are created, there must be agreement to them. In the ideal, a verbal “Yes” will be sought.
If the ground rule is violated, the negotiator is highly advised to pause the negotiation and note the violation. In most cases, there is self-enforcement.
Escalating Confrontation: If the violations continue, the effective negotiator needs to intervene. The intervention can start out “gentle” and then escalate. The first intervention may be the classic “I Feel….” declaration.
I feel frustrated when interruptions occur when I am trying to make my point.
This type of statement usually comes across better than a “You” statement which becomes a target or irritating statement.
EX: You frustrate me when….
How Does an Effective Negotiator Avoid Becoming a Pedantic?
Know thyself is the key.
Most Pedantics probably view themselves as demanding or perfectionist or they just want things to be accurate and factual even if their so-called facts may not be accurate. They probably view themselves as being helpful.
An effective negotiator needs to be self-aware. They need to constantly seek feedback from their trusted colleagues. An effective way to ask for feedback is to ask for the positives and the potential changes; in other words, the plus/delta approach versus criticism. They can also record themselves. Many are not aware of their communication behaviors until they actually hear themselves or see themselves.
Conclusion
If the correcting by the Pedantic occurs in a non-work situation, ignoring it might be the best way to manage. The Pedantic may have created a toxic environment and one can easily remove themselves from it.
An important issue is when the Correcting is occurring at work or during a negotiation. Ignoring might work initially but if the thrust of your interest or argument is being thwarted by the rude interruptions, one must intervene in a gently escalating fashion. An effective negotiator is goal-oriented. Anything including correcting that impedes that goal must be managed.
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